Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Pondering and wondering


I am conflicted with living in France. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have the chance of living here when so many who wish for it more aren't able to, but it's still not the easiest place to live.

As many expats and bloggers have said before me, France is not always the magical and romantic place that many people think that it is. The people can be rude. Administration is time-consuming and you're constantly running around in circles. No is the answer to everything.

But there are many good things too. And I'm very much aware of them.

But I can't help but feel that Paris is not the place for us. The Frenchman agrees. But where do we go? We can't keep moving around forever. As I've briefly mentioned before, Strasbourg (where we once lived about two years ago) is in our minds as our ideal place to settle down. But work commitments for The Frenchman mean that that's not going to happen for a while. But what until then? I'm bored. I'm frustrated. I'm going stir-crazy and I need to go back to work before my brain turns to mush. That's not going to happen any time soon with my lack of fluency in French and current day-care situation for the Little Sausage. The Frenchman is unhappy because I'm unhappy. Unintentionally, I've given up a career/family/language/friends/lifestyle to be here in France with him and although I would gladly do it because he's my love, it's still not conducive to a happy life outside of the home.

Ideas and possible solutions are being tossed about, and we are doing some serious hypothetical thinking. Another move in our near future may be on the cards.

Again.

Maybe.

It will involve serious paper work, fees, new passports and visas so the process will be long and expensive, yet temporary. We plan to go abroad, earn more money faster. We plan to return to France refreshed, with savings, to try to continue our lives here. Hopefully with me being able to start the business I so very much want to start. Living there permanently doesn't appeal to me, but being able to function independently (even for just a short time) does.

The where, when, and how will come later. For now, our brains are working overtime trying to come to a solution to our quandaries. Will this work? We think so, but then one can never be sure in life. We've always tried. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But have they been mistakes? I don't look at it like that. From every move, from every city, we've come away with something. Lessons learned, places seen, experiences had. This (potential) move will be no different. As to whether it's the right decision, who knows?

For now, we will try to do what we can here in Paris and try to get on with things.

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